Growing Years: By this time my anger-net had become extended from my friend to Brother John. I partially succeeded cutting him off for about two weeks. This was the person that I was seeing virtually all the time, (almost every day) either in the office or where he lodged as a youth copper. So, for me to have been able to cut off for about two weeks, really showed how serious my anger level was at the time. I really don’t know what would have become of me ever since if God had not miraculously brought him back to me (not me to him), and this was totally unknown to him. Back in those days, young converts were so thirsty of God that they always followed their mentors more than their mentors followed them up.
One blessed day, I was standing outside our house with a wrapper tied to my waist, when all of a sudden I looked up and saw Dr John coming in his usual strides towards my direction. Was he coming to check on me? No, not at all! He was coming to buy his usual mint (The old Trebor; he taught me this thing and these days I throw a lot of mint in my mouth always to keep a fresh breath). He was heading to my mother’s shop right in front of our house to buy his peppermint. As he lifted up his eyes, he was surprised to see me, and his words were, ‘Chris, Chris, is this where you live?’ And I replied him ‘Yes’. We exchanged greetings briefly. He bought some Trebors and left.
Something happened to me immediately we spoke. I think he carried this cool presence that melted all my negative decision for withdrawal. I had to connect back to him, and after some few days we met in his house and I had to recall the incident (since I love asking questions in order to learn). I wanted to know why he didn’t say anything to all that I complained that my friend did.
Babes Always React To Every Offence
I got another shocker of my life when he looked straight to my face and said, ‘You are a babe. ‘This hit me so badly because I had thought I was really growing as someone who loved God so much, with a proven testimony of doing better than so many I met in the faith. I didn’t know that I had more zeal than the knowledge of God. So I replied, ‘Me, a babe’? ‘Brother John, you don’t understand; I am the kind of person who does not like offending people and so do not like people offending me.’ Then he replied, ‘That’s the problem. You can’t stop people from hurting you even if you succeed in not hurting others’.
You know, he had hardly said this, when the Holy Spirit confirmed this in my spirit and enlightened me the more by explaining further that it is not about you not wanting to offend people but what would you do when people offend you, as you cannot prevent people from hurting you.
This is really one of the major things that make a Christian a Christian. He endures through patience; he hopes through faith and he wins through love. 1 Corinthians 13:7.
Since then, I had grown a bit, preparing myself to take some hurts. If it is possible to tame or control the tongue, though with a lot of Christian discipline, then it is possible for us as Christians also to control our anger, otherwise God won’t say to us “Be angry and do not sin…”
In another place in scriptures we read,
Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper – it only leads to harm. (Psalm 37:8 NLT)
Society has consciously or unconsciously taught us to believe that anger is bad. If anger is truly bad as people believe, then why does the bible say “Be angry … (and added) and do not sin”? (Ephesians 4:26a). Why does it say further in the second half of this verse, “do not let the sun go down on your wrath”? A closer look at this scripture as against the general belief of the society leaves us with a clear understanding that failure in learning how to rightly channel anger or handle it constructively remains the only reason for people to believe that anger is bad.
Stop Changing Church, Chain Your Anger
It is time to grow up. There is no great church today that hasn’t had some members with wounded hearts one time or the other. Too many believers have migrated from one church to another because of offence. If you are the pastor of your church and you start preaching about hell, relating it to unforgiveness, bitterness and anger, etc, you will definitely be surprised to find out how and why some people had left their church and joined yours. I have warned brethren especially newcomers in church, who might have left two or three other churches, not to make the mistake of believing that no one will ever offend them including myself as the minister of God, because none of us is perfect. I often say to them that they shouldn’t fail to learn from church now what they failed to handle from where they were coming from, especially over the matter of strife, unforgiveness, bitterness and anger which they never settled.
Pastors of a lot of churches will attest to several people’s testimonies of how they have never seen their kind of church before that demonstrated so much love; but get surprised to hear that they left church not even because pastor offended them, but because they had a misunderstanding with a co-member or head of their department. They therefore left church in anger and began spreading to people how bad the church was.
A pastor whose life is full of crises can never survive nurturing a congregation that is not without these negative emotions. A pastor whom God has not called would certainly be the first target to be gunned down by the same negative people under him. Ministry truly is the work of grace.
“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph 4:31-32)
“A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; for if you rescue him, you will have to do it again”. (Pro 19:19)
“Bridle your anger, trash your wrath, cool your pipes-it only makes things worse”. (Psalm 37:8 MSG)
If you truly want to be a mature Christian, then you must grow in love (Agape). The definition of love as I understand it in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 is hereby summarized as Spiritual maturity.
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