Be warned! Bridle your anger, trash your wrath, cool your pipes- only makes things worse Psalm 37 MSG)
The book of Proverbs chapter 29:1 says, “He who is often rebuked, and hardens his neck, will suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy“.
God knew so well that anger will be a hindrance in my life. What happened to Moses? What happened to the meekest man on the face of the earth? Hey! It means one can be humble and there could be something right on the inside of that person, lying there dormant until it is triggered. And when it is triggered someone may probably say in astonishment, ‘Man, I didn’t know you are like this’.
If God were to be a man. He would have said to Moses and many of us ‘I didn’t know you are like this’. You know my wife told me this about a week or two after we got married. She has however remained stuck with me ever since, but thank God I am getting better.
I have seen people who others thought were very gentle blow the fuse of anger, thus, surprising everyone who knew them including themselves too. Humility is not quietness, and neither does it authenticate the absence of anger. In short most people who are very quiet surprisingly have some tendencies to show outburst of anger.
Anger-worked Up, Does Not Work Alone
Frustration, disappointments, produce hurts and hurts in turn may lead to anger which in turn produces bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, backbiting and malice; and may also degenerate into violence and sometimes murder.
Incident #13: Simeon And Levi
Uncontrolled anger in Simeon and Levi-sons of Jacob attracted a terrible curse from their father, because of the cruel revenge they carried out against the country of Shalem, after the prince of the land defiled (deflowered) their sister Dinah.
“Simeon and Levi are brothers, Instruments of cruelty are in their dwelling place. 6 Let not my soul enter their council; Let not my honor be united to their assembly; FOR IN THEIR ANGER THEY SLEW A MAN, and in their self-will they hamstrung an ax. 7 CURSED BE THEIR ANGER, for it fierce, And their wrath for it is cruel! I will divide them in Jacob and scatter them in Israel” (Genesis 49:5-7 See the full story in Genesis 34).
Anger in marriage, when not controlled becomes unresolved anger, which in turn has the capacity to go down like a sub-marine. It does an underground damage to marriage foundation, blinding its victim from ever remembering the sweet memories of their yesterdays. By the time it surfaces, the superstructure (the quality of what is being built on it) would not require much effort to pull or push down. (Read “Old Roger-like anger, page 178)
Love for God first and then for our neighbors is the only thing that is required to keep our anger fuse intact. Though it may be heated up, it will definitely simmer down on time due to the dousing effects of love
Anger And Selfishness
I have always admonished God’s people with these words (whether married or not) ‘Never allow any person’s Christian manner towards you ever make you freak Gout commandment because you feel hurt or angry.’ We have been charged in scriptures that just as we want men to do unto us, we should do it first to them. (Luke 6:31)
The person whose action got you infuriated may have done it carelessly or unintentionally. Don’t take it too hard against the one who offended you. Don’t castigate him abroad or attack him in revenge, just because you wanted to prove how hurt you are. Anything short of these purely demonstrates ignorance of scriptures and nothing but another level of selfishness.
We tend to think more of ourselves when we are provoked. This is why we are eager to see God quickly bring down a sledge hammer on the one who offends us. Though the scripture declares that our God is a consuming fire, but we are also told that He is slow to wrath. Jesus also says to each one of His children, “Therefore be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)
Remember the prodigal son’s elder brother, he was angry and refused to go inside the house because his Father received back with a big celebration hi backslidden brother. In addition to his anger, be displayed some pride and unloving attitude toward ha brother, and these were clearly seen in the manner he replied his father:
“But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured you livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted cow for him.”
Firstly, we can clearly deduce from this statement the he got the news about his brother lavishing his money on harlots, and yet he didn’t make any attempt to go look for him in order to save him. Secondly, he wasn’t sensitive enough to know how his father felt about hu lost brother. One lost son in the family is more devastating to a parent even if such a parent has a dozen more
A song writer wrote,
- I’m forever grateful to you (Jesus)
- I’m forever grateful for the cross
- I’m forever grateful to you
- That you came to seek and save the lost
I strongly believe that we have no better business than to join Jesus in His crusade of saving the lost and being our brother’s keeper.
In marriage especially, it is better for God to use the one who is available and obedient to get to the one who is angry (unavailable), than for Him to be running after two partners (offenders) who have absconded from His presence Yes, we all know that God can speak to all of us at the same time, but. He usually starts from one person And unto whomsoever much is given, (spiritually/physically advantaged) of him shall much be required. (Luke 12:48).
Love (Agape-Greek), God’s unconditional love remains the only reason why we can truly live above strife. We truly become more than conquerors through Christ who loved us as we remain in Him, live our lives after His character and move with (follow) his Spirit. (Act 17:28).
In other words; In Him we live in love, in Him we move in love
The Balance-Loving The Unlovabic
Child of God, I beseech you, hate what God hates and love what and who God loves. Anything short of this will spell doom. You can hate what someone does that is totally repulsive but should not hate that person. If you hate any human being, heaven will call you a murderer. “And you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.“ (1 John 3:15)
Some Christians chose to hate others who offend them or do not offend them. You hear them say, ‘I don’t like that person at all’. But as for me, my option still remains the of God’s love-agape. When I run out of human love (common love-likeness, or brotherly love), I turn to God to give me grace that will enable me stir up His highest Love agape, the unconditional Love deposited in my heart (Rom 5:5). This is what makes us to love the unlovable. I don’t have one human being as my enemy, although I didn’t get to this point easily in my walk with Christ
- My revelation is from what Jesus and Paul said in the bible. We are told not to love and greet only those who love and greet us. This is truly what distinguishes an as true children of our heavenly Father-God. (Mt 5:44-48; Rom. 12:19-21)
That you have a misunderstanding with someone or that someone misunderstood your position over a matter doesn’t make it right for you to hate that fellow, or write that person off. God encourages brotherliness or fellowship, otherwise He won’t be telling us to initiate reconciliation either when you are hurt or when you offend someone. The scripture say, “Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled The law.“ (Rom. 13:8)
The anger we do not learn to control early, always surges up later in life like a caterpillar ready to demolish a good looking home or relationships we have with others. Anger, out of control is the reason too many marriages have sunk. What else would you think made married couples who once said ‘Yes I do’, refuse to do again? I haven’t seen someone who separated or went to the court to divorce his or her partner and declared, ‘I want to divorce my partner because I love her, or because I love him’.
There’s a common thread that runs through strife, separation and divorce, etc. That dividing thread is notably anger
Summary for Part 2
- Angry and impatient persons cannot do without strife
- Anger truly unresolved can break fellowship and separate the best of friends.
- Failure to deal with anger will definitely result in disobedience.
- When the hedge is broken, we face the consequences
- Anger has the capacity of destabilizing one from the sense of rightness when not put under control
- The one who speaks soft words do not only turn anger away, but becomes a winner
- Failure to deal with anger may enthrone pride and prevent one from saying, ‘I am sorry.
- He who loses control over anger does not just become dangerous, but exposes himself to dangers as well.
- The anger you don’t control may control you and rob you of your treasures.
- You must fight the anger that wants to make a bully of you or fight the bully with his/her anger.
- It’s not by power or might.
- Anger was a ‘but’ in Moses’ life.
- Many ministers behind the pulpit have desecrated the altar of God, by simply cursing the people they are called to lead, in the heat of the anger they failed to deal with.
- A common thread of anger runs through strife, separation and divorce.
- Anger carries other ugly but progressive signs of disappointments-hurt-frustration-bitterness-hatred-violence-murder/suicide.
