Jesus Method! The Best Method

A. Incident #28: When Someone Sins Against You
Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by

the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17)

Watch yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to you saying, ‘I repent, you must forgive him.”(Luke 17:3-4)

The Common Mistakes We Make When We Are Offended

We put our feelings of hurts above the Word of God instead of applying God’s love.
We run to brothers/sisters ‘X Y Z’ to narrate what brother ‘A’ or sister ‘B’ did to us.
We criticise brother ‘A’ or sister ‘B’, and justify ourselves while we protect our faults.
We proceed to tell off all his/her secrets to everyone who knows/relates with brother ‘A’ or sister ‘B’.
When we hear one negative thing that happens to brother ‘A’ or sister ‘B’, we are happy to add it to his or her already existing files, and become satan’s evangelists unknowingly, as we herald it across the border before the cock crows at dawn.

When our actions vacillate between some of the points enumerated above,

We disobey God.
We hurt the one who offended us, as they hear all the gossips about them.
We provide seed of discord for satan to use to divide us.
We risk losing our brother or sister/friend spiritually first as we don’t feel any obligation to win him close to God first and then to ourselves.

Rumour Mongering

Rumour mongering has since been one of satan’s most deadly attacks he hurls against churches in order to destabilize and divide God’s people. It generates a lot of offences that could lead to crises and division. In mega churches, this usually happens but may not have any serious and notable effects because of the number, money and the disposition of the pastor in charge. But for smaller or growing churches the effect may be devastating if not handled with the power of the Holy Spirit and wisdom.

To conclude the revelation on the above scripture, please note that the only reason for reconciliation is for us to gain our offender and not to cast him or her out.

We can only regard such persons as heathens if after we have prayerfully and carefully carried out the four steps Christ requires of us and he or she still ignores/throws away all the godly counsels.

Before Casting Your Brother or Sister Away- (Matthew 18:15-17)

Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
If he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church.
But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

B. Incident #29: When Someone Has A Grievance Against You

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)

In this scripture, Jesus clearly makes us to see that:

Broken relationships can hinder our relationship with God.
We should endeavor to resolve any grievance or problem we have with someone else as quickly as possible.
Our offerings are not accepted by God if we have unresolved grievances with others.
Our attitudes toward others reflect our relationship with God.

If someone says, “I love God.” and hates his brother, he is a liar, for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? (1 John 4:20).

We truly do not have life (God’s life) working in us until we love the brethren (1John 3:14). The scripture also tells us

“… a servant of God must not quarrel but be gentle to all…. (2Timothy 2:24)

I often wonder when I hear how a minister could stand up to bring the mind of God (The Word) to God’s holy congregation when he/she has fought his/her marriage partner, and even remain in malice.

We need the grace of God in our lives in order for us to keep His Word. But until we ask for it we cannot manifest it. The whole summary of these two separate scriptures just simply tells us how paramount it is for every believer to WALK IN LOVE.

Love remains the only road to thread for only those who want to be more than conquerors.

How To Gain Control Over Anger And Reap Good Dividends

Confess your sins of disobedience and bitterness, anger and unforgiveness.
Tell God to help you understand the scriptures in the areas where you fall short.
Release by prayer all those who hurt you especially the ones you have not forgiven- remember, God will not forgive you if you do not forgive your offenders.
If your offenders are reachable and are still alive endeavor to communicate with them that you have forgiven them. You can even go a bit further to give the one who has offended you a gift.
Study and meditate especially on 1 Corinthians 13:1-13; Colossians 3:8-17; Philippians 4:8; Romans 12:14-21.
Improve on your love relationship with God by submitting to the word of instructions above your feelings.
Pray that God will restore what the notorious robbers of anger, bitterness, unforgiveness etc have stolen or blocked away from your life and family.
Ask God to enrich you with wisdom from above. (James 1:5; 3:17).
Pray to God to use you as a living sacrifice to touch many other people who are left in this ANGER RUT.

If Jesus can get angry, you can.
If He can pour His wrath as the consequence of violation of scriptures, you can’t, because the scriptures are not yours.
He is sovereign and you are not.
If He forgave and forgives you, you can forgive others too.
If He has shown you mercy (He is very merciful), you too can. Only then would you receive His forgiveness and mercy.. You can say you have God’s love and not be merciful- Matthew 5:7

It is impossible for you to totally get rid of people simply because they irritate you, unless you want to live a secluded life that may snap life itself away from you on the long run; knowing fully that we are created by God for relationship-with Him and for each other.

People, who always have a negative image of others when offended, usually don’t mind cutting off from the relationship they have been able to build for a long time and starting all over again.
Your original C.V (Curriculum Vitae) is your attitude and your body remains the briefcase that holds it. And everywhere you go, your attitude goes with you.

You cannot succeed in stopping people from provoking you, nor can you change them; you can change your car or your house any time you want to, but you cannot keep reacting in anger and violence in order for you to change or get back to people because they hurt you. The best thing to do is to develop the skill in handling the different attitude from each individual you meet every day. You are known by the fruits you live out daily.

Begin with those around you or with you, and that person may be your wife, husband, parents, your brothers or sisters, In-law(s), boss, neighbor, your friend, driver, cook, house-help, teacher, staff or your children. But you must learn how to control your reactions first of all.

Summary for Part 4

Angry and impatient persons cannot do without strife.
Anger truly unresolved can break fellowship and separate the best of friends.
Failure to deal with anger will definitely result in disobedience.
When the hedge is broken, we face the consequences.
Anger has the capacity of destabilizing one from the sense of rightness if not put under control.
The one who speaks soft words does not only turn anger away, but becomes a winner.
Failure to deal with anger may enthrone pride and prevent one from saying, ‘I am sorry.’
He who loses control over anger does not just become dangerous, but exposes himself to dangers as well.
The anger you don’t control may control you and rob you of your treasures.
You must fight the anger that wants to make a bully out of you or fight the bully with his/her anger.
It’s not by power or might.
Anger was a ‘but’ in Moses’ life.
Many ministers behind the pulpit have desecrated the altar of God by simply cursing the people they are called to lead in the heat of the anger they failed to deal with.
A common thread of anger runs through strife, separation and divorce.
Anger carries other ugly manifestations of frustration, disappointments, hurts, bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, violence and murder.
God’s love (agape) the only thing that puts you over strife.
Anger is inborn in man.
Easily angered persons have very low tolerance.
Anger can be contagious.
Physiological or biological changes can induce anger in readiness of a quick action through the excessive release of adrenaline hormone.
Nurturing anger in one’s bosom produces foolish actions.
One wrong action of anger can become a foothold for the devil.
When our love for God diminishes, anger is bound to develop.
Society leaves us with a clear understanding that failure in learning how to rightly channel anger or handle it constructively remains the only reason for people to believe that anger is bad.
Those who can’t stop reacting in anger to every offence have their choice to remain babes.
Learning how to cautiously handle hurts maturely without being the second offender (one who breaks God’s word through revenge) will definitely go a long way in helping us reap great benefits by protecting the relationship between us and God; and between us and our neighbors.