Part1: NATURAL RESPONSE TO HURT – What is Anger?

Chapter 2

What Is Anger?

Be angry, and do not sin; Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath Nor give place to the devil.

Oxford Dictionary (Advanced Learner’s) defines anger as, ‘The strong feeling that you have when something has happened that you think is bad and unfair. Collins Gem English Dictionary describes anger as, ‘wrath, strong emotion excited by a real or supposed injury.

According to Charles Spielberger, PhD. Anger is ‘an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage’.

• Anger also varies from a swift or quick annoyance to a full display of wrath.

I put anger simply as ‘the irritation that occurs when someone’s borderline has been violated or disregarded”. We all have our rights within the confines of our personality. Any trespass could trigger the alarm censor, and anger then shows forth as the fore-runner of the next action to be taken. The action can either be silent within or physically demonstrated. Anger can be both verbal and non-verbal in nature. (See incident #4, page 63)

• No man is ever created not to feel hurt when his right as a person is violated by another, thing or circumstance.

When our rights are violated, and our peace disturbed or denied, we react, get angry because we feel hurt.

Unmanaged or uncontrolled anger remains one of the reasons too many marriages have gone down either in divorce or separation. This also is one of the reasons relationships are broken or destroyed between friends, families and brethren in churches (no matter how good the churches or their pastors are).

• Many people have ‘bad-endings’ in almost (maybe) all of the places they have ever worked, all because of anger.

Anger! Angerll Anger!!! Suffice to say, that worst of it all, lives and property have also been lost, destroyed or forfeited to this five letter word, especially when it becomes uncontrollable.

Checklist For Different Expressions Of Anger The under-listed are some actions people do take or have

Taken when this emotion is aroused. Be very honest to run through this list and see if one or few relate(s) to you. When any of them is compelling or predominant, then you need to consult a seasoned counselor especially after you’ve tried some Christian discipline but withour any significant change.

1. Get angry and give the offender a stern look;
2. Get angry and give a cold stare at the offender;
3. Get angry, walk out and slam the door,
4. Get angry and ignore whatever your partner is saying;
5. Get angry and keep malice;
6. Get angry and refuse to eat;
7. Get angry and become foodoholic; (gluttonous)
8. Get angry and shut yourself up in a room;
9. Get angry and hit the wall or other objects;
10. Get angry and change your mind from following your partner to attend a function;
11. Get angry and cut people off, especially the most important persons in your life;
12. Get angry and cut off from fellowship/departmental meetings;
13. Get angry and change church, or decide to stay at home;
14. Get angry and curse the offender;
15. Get angry, retaliate and declare, ‘Whatever will happen, let it happen’
16. Get angry and send nasty and provocative text messages through your phone;
17. Get angry and indiscriminately terminate the phone call abruptly in the middle of the discussion;
18. Get angry and announce to the whole world all the weaknesses of the offender;
19. Get angry and tell your partner, ‘I’m going out,’ without revealing your destination,
20. Get angry and walk out into a beer joint;
21. Get angry, walk into the strange woman’s/man’s bosom for sexual pleasure and then blame your partner.
22. Get angry and avoid dressing before your partner,
23. Get angry and deny your marriage partner sex,
24. Get angry and block the doorway;
25. Get angry and drive recklessly and with speed;
26. Get angry, gather your partner’s clothes and set them on fire;
27. Get angry and fight;
28. Get angry and batter your partner with your fists, belt/cane;
29. Get angry and tear your wedding certificate;
30. Get angry and throw away your wedding rings;
31. Get angry, cry and pack out to a friend’s place or parents/relation’s house;
32. Get angry and pour hot water/acid on the offender;
33. Get angry and pack all your property including that of your partner;
34. Get angry and go to the court for divorce;
35. Get angry and commit murder;
36. Get angry and attempt to commit suicide; etc.

The above list is by no means exhaustive, just to describe the effects of anger on people. But come to think of it, no Christian, no husband/wife would ever claim that no one has ever offended him or her, or that he or she has never gotten hurt or angry over someone else’s disappointing behavior. Many Christians who neglect the Word of God, or throw the bible rashly to one side during times of provocations, will certainly have their Christian life messed up and questioned on the long run.

The Bible Commands “Be Angry …”

“Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26).

The first part of this verse, “Be angry and do not sin”, does not really command that we should be angry, but merely suggests:

1. We may be angry;
2. It is possible for us to get angry and react outside the guidelines of God’s Word, and thereby commit sin.
3. It is possible for us to be angry without committing any sin.
4. We have what it takes to control anger within its boundary of expression,
5. We are warned not to allow anger to make us sin, and
6. We should quickly deal with our anger, to prevent it from brewing into its full strength.

Anger is not an evil thing after all until it gets overboard by being mismanaged.

The following different translations of the bible quoted below will help us throw further light on this particular scripture:

1. When angry, do not sin. (AMPL)
2. If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you to sin. (GNB)
3. Be angry without sinning. (GWT)
4. Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry-but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. (MSG)

However, to further explain to us the main reason why we shouldn’t step out of the border is clearly stated in verse 27: “nor give place to the devil” (Vs. 27).

The New Living Translation bible renders the two verses

Thus:

“And don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for Anger gives a foothold to the devil”.

One big reason God advices us not to allow the sun to go down while the anger lingers is because the enemy, satan may creep in to attack us. Remember, he goes about like a roaring lion seeking whom to devour.

The Amplified version of the bible renders verse 27 thus: “Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him]”.

Summing up all these scriptures, I could put them in my own rendering;

“While you get angry, ensure you don’t lose control of yourself to do something foolish by breaking the Word of God; because, if you lose grip of yourself, you would therefore be giving the devil the opportunity (enough room) to gain control of this area of emotion, and influence you to work against God’s Word and hurt others”. (Christof Version)

Anger simply communicates the feelings of hurt that we experience. When anger that is dormant in man is stroked, his emotion says, ‘I’m hurt.

Anger is given to us as part of our emotions to defend our personal borders, (personal rights) integrity and what we have; otherwise, we’ll all be zombies.

For example, no one would ever come back home from work to see someone else apart from his wife and children sitting on his matrimonial bed, I mean, a complete stranger, and would say to him, ‘How are you? How is the family? Has my wife given you food to eat?

Oh no! You will definitely be angry, but, should still know how to control your anger in order not to commit murder or do any stupid thing against the Word of God and the law of your country. It doesn’t matter if you are a soldier or a police man you will be in danger of the law and hell.

• Armies of nations go to war in anger and not with smiles or friendliness.

The scripture didn’t only command “Be angry”, but added “and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath. Nor give place to the devil”. (Ephesians 4:26-27).

God can’t tell us to do what He hasn’t given us the ability to do. This simply tells us we can be angry, but we should know how to control our anger so it doesn’t give birth to sin.

Our displeasure at hurt is not sin, but may lead to sin if we don’t control our actions. “Be angry” does not give us a freehand to get angry at everyone and everywhere we go. The words added, “and sin not” simply gives us the wisdom we need in order to control our anger by subduing it or redirecting it appropriately with high regards to the Word of God. The wisdom we truly need in order to tame our anger is the reason for this book.

These two verses (Ephesians 4:26 and 27), show how important it is for us to properly handle our anger. If we vent anger thoughtlessly and ruthlessly, we’ll hurt others and thereby violate the Word of God. If we nurse our anger, we will give the devil an edge over us. Paul admonishes us to deal with our anger in such a way not to allow the devil gain advantage of the opportunity to attack us.

Something More Than Anger

D+anger = Danger!

In my own simple algebra, if we subtract the letter ‘D’ from the word danger, ‘anger’ may not be dangerous in itself. Someone said anger is one word for danger just short of the letter ‘d’. When we add the letter ‘D’ to ‘ANGER’ we get DANGER. In other words, if we add one action to anger outside the limits of the Word of God, we get overboard and thereby commit sin. If we can diminish or control the power of anger, danger is averted. But if not, this will lead us to the place where we allow the enemy (spirit of anger) to negatively influence us; thus affecting our lives and most times the lives of those who offend us and others around us, to either steal or destroy our blessings or theirs; and in some cases, it may lead to more injury, death either by suicide or murder etc.

• Anger has the capacity to be negatively productive as it graduates into some other events that may have some demonic influence.

For example let’s consider this chain of emotions below: Anger >>> Wrath >>>>> Violence >>>>>> (and then =). Am sure you can fill in the next answer. Your guess is as good as mine, ‘MURDER‘.

Incident #1: Saul’s Madness

“Now the Spirit of the Lord had left Saul, and the Lord sent a tormenting spirit that filled him with depression and fear“. (1 Samuel 16:14 NLT)

Because Saul had rebelled against the will of God, he was given over to demonic influence. His rebellion against God opened the door for an evil spirit to torment him. He was then driven into insanity, which led him to attempt to murder David.

Why Saul Attempted To Murder David

When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals. 7. This was their song: “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” 8. This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” 9. So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. 10. The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand. 11. And he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice. (1 Samuel 18:6-10, 11 NLT)

Saul may be medically diagnosed as having a mental illness of paranoia, but the scripture makes it very clear that his condition is physically and spiritually abnormal,

As something else-a tormenting spirit- was officially influencing his mind.

A mad person may attack someone without any explanatory reason or pre-conceived offence or cause. But, in the case of Saul, there’s a clear reason for him in wanting to kill David, and the evil spirit took advantage of it.

1. He was angry at David’s success story heralded by the Israelites women who came out celebrating David’s victory over Goliath and the rest of the Philistines. (1 Samuel 18:6-8)
2. He envied David and he was afraid that the people might wake up one day to make him a king. (1 Samuel 18:8-9)

Points To Note

Saul disobeyed God;

1. His disobedience opened the door to a tormenting spirit that was permitted by God to depress him;
2. The tormenting spirit fed on his negative attitude of envy (jealousy), anger, and fear;
3. He conceived murder within his thoughts and;
4. The tormenting spirit gallantly rode on his anger in an attempt to kill David.

The underlining factors in most murder cases especially In moments of strife have always been pivoted through un-controlled or un-cultured anger.

As a matter of fact, after the Spirit of God had left King Saul, an evil spirit (a demon) was allowed by God to torment him as a process of judgment for his disobedience. (1 Samuel 16:14).

In some cases, when the outburst of anger is persistent in the life of someone after the spiritual exercise of the Word and discipline, it is most likely that there is a spirit of anger controlling this area of emotion in that fellow, and the solution therefore will most probably be for that person to seek counseling and deliverance.

Uncontrolled anger in a person is enough foothold needed by the demon of anger to gain more grounds in the life of that person, be it a Christian or not, in order to steal, kill and destroy. It is so sad to know how many people (including Christians) have allowed this evil and wicked being succeed to do his ministry within human existence against their neighbors, in their marriage, work places, educational institutions, and families. Later in this book, I shared some of my life experiences and progressive deliverance against this emotion.

God says, (in case you get angry), “ do not sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil” (Ephesians. 4:26-27 NLT).

The amplified version renders verse twenty seven thus; “Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].”

The conclusion of this is summarized in Ecclesiastes 7:9; “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For Anger rests in the bosom of fools.”This kind of person no doubt gives the devil enough foothold for the devil to devour him (Ecclesiastes 10:8).

Anger in man, like lust that’s hidden, just needs a little stir to awaken it. The Word of God provides us with enough ways we can be powerfully equipped to put anger under a very reasonable control. (This is fully discussed in chapters 15, 16 and 17).